Conversation_Windows by Marie Cantor
- Marie Cantor
- Mar 24, 2021
- 5 min read
Windows
Marie Cantor
A couple, Pat (male, 66) and Celeste (female, 67), are sitting outside at a bistro in the downtown of a city. Noises of cars, yelling, horns, and other bustling sounds can be heard in the background.
The couple look like an ordinary aged couple. They dress age appropriately and don’t conceal their aging skin/hair. Their style is not tourist-like, however, there’ve been instances when they were asked where they are from. Both have lived in this city their entire lives.
They are looking at menus.
PAT looks up at CELESTE
PAT
Is this the place with the free bread that we like?
CELESTE
No, that’s the place next to where Kim took karate lessons.
PAT
Oh, right...why didn’t we go there? I like that place--
CELESTE
This is the place with the sandwich you like. Uh--the--the chicken club with mayonnaise on the side.
PAT
Oh, right…
PAT looks back to the menu
CELESTE
Other page--
PAT
I know, I know. I’m just seeing if I feel adventurous.
CELESTE CELESTE looks up from her menu
When do you ever feel adventurous?
PAT
There are times…
CELESTE
Yeah, like when? Last night you were yelling all over the place about how I changed the sauce recipe.
PAT
PAT looks up
Well, that’s different.
CELESTE
CELESTE looks down
Hmph…well, it proves my point. You’re not adventurous. The quicker you realize that the quicker you can flip the page.
PAT
PAT sets down his menus and leans closer to CELESTE
Oh com’on Celeste, don’t you remember on our tenth anniversary? You woke up and I packed our bags in the van for the Pacific? Hm? Remember?
CELESTE
CELESTE looks up quickly at PAT and continues reading the menu like a sunday paper
Oh please, we didn’t even make it past North Carolina.
In a mocking tone--
“It’s too hot! It’s too hot, Celeste! Why did you think of such a thing, this is terrible!”
We turned around, remember? God, everything was booked. We had to stay in that dingy motel. Disgusting. Don’t you remember? It was terrible--worst anniversary--
PAT
Defeated, he reluctantly looks back to his menu
Yeah, yeah. What do you know anyway...
WAITER enters and asks if they are ready to order. (In this scene the WAITER never audibly speaks. The audience will see the mouth/body move, but no sound)
Yeah, I’ll have the chicken club with mayonnaise on the side...Now, don’t forget mayonnaise on the side, I don’t want any trouble! I got bad cholesterol, mayo ain’t good for the cholesterol--
CELESTE
Pat, he doesn’t want to hear about your cholesterol--
Hi, hun--I’ll have the chicken caesar--you look new---are you new?--Anyway, I want my chicken fried, but not like KFC. I want it half fried, only one dip in the bread crumbs, you understand? Make sure you tell’em, they’ll understand, alright hun?
CELESTE hands over her menu to the waiter.
As PAT hands his menu, he blurts out one last thing
PAT Don’t forget about the mayonnaise! Seriously! Not one drop! I won’t hesitate to complain!
CELESTE
Leave the poor boy alone, he’s new---
The WAITER gestures indicating he is not new
Oh, well that’s a surprise, I’ve never seen you here before--Pat, you’ve?
PAT
No, why would I? I only go to these fancy get-ups with you.
CELESTE
Stop it, Pat! Jesus--go on, hun before he gives you more trouble--
The WAITER begins to walk away
PAT
To WAITER
REMEMBER, MAYONNAISE, ON, THE, SIDE!
CELESTE slaps PAT’s hand
CELESTE
I told you to quit it, Pat! Why do you have to embarrass me all the time, hm?
You’re going to make him wanna spit in our food--
PAT
That’s an ol’s wise tale--a tale old as time--
CELESTE
You’re a tale old as time
PAT chuckles
PAT
Look who’s talkin, you’re older than me--
CELESTE
You always gotta bring that up, don’t ya--
PAT
What cann-ah say, I married an older woman! I married a cougar! But what she doesn’t know is that I married her for her money!
They both laugh together for a brief moment. And in that moment the world was silent. PAT looked at his wife of 48 years as if this was the first time he’d seen her laugh.
PAT
I always love how you laugh--
CELESTE
I hate my laugh--I snort too much--
PAT That’s why I love it. We could be in a crowded room and I’d be able to spot you in a moment--
I always loved that.
CELESTE
The way I’d spot you is that horrible tie you’d wear all the time--you remember that? That was an ugly thing--never seen something so ugly--
PAT
I wore that tie the first time we met--you remember?
CELESTE
Remember? How could I forget? That tie kept staring at me. Hideous color...
PAT
You know a psychic told me I’d be wearin’ that tie when I met the love of my life--
CELESTE
I could-dah told ya that! You wore that tie practically every day! No psychic needed--you’re welcome saved you 40 bucks--
PAT
It’s still the best $40 I’ve ever spent--
Short pause, looks to the side
Our waiter’s comin’ back...with bread..I knew it! This IS the place with the bread we like!
CELESTE
Wait--really? Then what’s the place by Kim’s old karate instructor?
PAT
You think?
CELESTE
Oh, darn! I’m sorry Pat, this is the place with the bread and the real good salmon! Oh darn! I did it again--
PAT
Maybe we gottem just in time--I’ll fix this--sir! Sir!
The scene changes. The year is 1972. CELESTE (now is 18) is sitting at a bar with her DATE (male, 25).She is drinking a martini and he a whisky.
CELESTE
How many windows do you think there are in this city?
DATE
Huh?
CELESTE
Have you ever counted them?
DATE
No--it would be impossible. It’s pointless--
CELESTE
Oh--
A slightly long uncomfortable pause
DATE
Have you?
CELESTE
When I was a kid...I would walk with my mother in the shopping district and I would stare up and try to count every single window. I was always so scared I’d miss one so I often would start over and over and over and over--
DATE
Sounds exhausting--
CELESTE
Hm--not really. It was sorta relaxing in some bizarre-oh way.
DATE
Yeah I bet--you want another?
CELESTE
Yeah, yeah I could go for another--
DATE
Great--two more please--
CELESTE
I always wondered why I picked windows
DATE
Hm, what?
CELESTE
Windows--why I wanted to count windows?
DATE
Yeah, yeah, right--why?
CELESTE
I don’t know really. I mean you could really count anything--there’s a lot to count-- ‘(bartender hands them their drinks) thank you--cars, squirrels, benches, rats, sirens passin you by, ha--rats!
DATE
Hm--funny--
CELESTE
Yeah...but no, I liked windows. Maybe there’s a metaphor somewhere, you know---maybe I just enjoy thinking about the possibilities in this life...--I’ve lived here all my life and what I got? Couple thousand windows?
DATE
Right---
CELESTE
One day I want to move, maybe out west...--maybe a farm? I love animals--love em
DATE
Sounds great, uh...I gotta take a piss, so I--uh, I’ll be right back...
CELESTE
Alright..mm--don’t keep me waitin too long! Might get lost countin windows!
CELESTE giggles and a small snort escapes and she quickly covers her nose to conceal the noise. As her date leaves, a man is revealed in an ugly tie and he looks over to her
PAT
Uh, I hope this isn’t too weird, but I--uh--I overheard and I think I know something that might interest you--
CELESTE
Sorry, but I think my date--he’ll be back soon, so I--I don’t want him to get the wrong idea..
PAT
It’ll be quick I swear--
CELESTE
Alright--only if it’s quick--
PAT
Well...I happen to know that there’s about 1,834,927 windows in this city--
CELESTE
Wait, you’re joking! How do you know?
PAT
Oh, I have no idea--I made that up--
They both laugh, and CELESTE snorts louder this time and tries to conceal again.
PAT slides over to the barstool next to CELESTE
My name’s Pat--
PAT reaches over to CELESTE for a handshake
CELESTE
Celeste--
CELESTE shakes PAT’s hand
So you don’t count windows either?
PAT
No, I’m more of a pigeon man myself.
CELESTE
Pigeon?
PAT
Yeah, mysterious creatures--you know doves and pigeons are basically the same thing--
CELESTE
Oh, no--that can’t be true! Doves symbolize love! Pigeons--pigeons are trash that decided to grow wings one day--
PAT
You’re getting it all wrong here! Pigeons just have a bad reputation! Just give’em some extra attention and you’ll see what I see--
CELESTE
Is that right?
PAT
Right--
CELESTE
Well, I’ll take your advice. Next time I’m out, I’ll count pigeons---
PAT
And I windows--
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